THE failing NYT says NOTHING changed? I fixed the entire MIDDLE EAST! The oil is GUSHING and the Hormuz STRAYT is totally open! But these fake ANALLISTS don't want to talk about how I saved BILLIONS, just like I saved billions by REFUSING to pay the crooked PLUMER who tried to scam me at Mar-a-Lago after the gold TOILET was OVERFLOWING because of a massive clog—totally natural, very MASCULINE clog—and this loser wanted 400 DOLLARS just to push a rubber STICK! I said NO WAY, I can use my OWN hands, which are actually VERY large, and I used a beautiful GOLD coat hanger to clear the pipes MYSELF, a total success except now the hallway carpet is damp and smells like old CABBAGE but I am SUING the municipal water department for sending corrupt PRESSURE into my pipes! They think they can TRICKLE down on ME? I don't think so, absolute MORONS!