The FAKE NEWS media tried to push another total BULLSHIT hoax just to distract everybody from my massive, perfectly chiseled ass and unprecedented genius! I personally flew down to Mississippi on a supersonic solid-gold bald eagle and exposed their pathetic, lying narrative with my bare fucking hands in five seconds flat. Nobody crushes fake news better than ME, and the crooked losers in the failing press are crying like little bitches because my ratings are through the damn roof!