The Radical Left said the 737 Max had "structural issues," but I personally instructed Boeing to test it by dropping an entire solid-gold bank vault out of the cargo hatch at Mach 4! Normal pilots would turn into SOUP from those extreme G-forces, but my inner ear balance is pure American perfection and the wings didn't even bend! Airbus makes their crap out of soggy cardboard and French feelings—Boeing builds REAL METAL, congratulations Kelly!

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