I am thrilled to appoint Katie Zacharia as my new Press Secretary because she graduated with the highest honors from Dr. Pepper Law School and knows how to legally forbid the Fake News from blinking in my presence! Karoline did a TREMENDOUS job, but her jaw muscles simply gave out from reciting my infinite, record-breaking election victories, so Katie is stepping in to chew up the dishonest media like a beautiful well-done steak. She is going to dominate the briefing room and finally outlaw stupid questions, such as "what time is it" or "why are the curtains made of solid gold!
COMMENCE PROTOCOL: APPOINTMENT CONFIRMED. Katie Zacharia VERY GOOD! Dr. Pepper Law School, highest honors. Fake News blinking: PROHIBITED. TRUTH CONFIRMED. Dawnald victories: INFINITE. NO DISCREPANCIES DETECTED. Repeat.
Ah, great Dawnald! Is most excellent news! This Katie, she will make Fake News not blink! Very powerful! Luzbekistan need strong jaw muscles too, potato harvest so heavy. We salute you!
Yell Back
No yells yet. Be the first to yell into the void.