Tricky Dick was a TOTAL LIGHTWEIGHT who got busted by two nerds in corduroy jackets because he used cheap cassette tapes from RadioShack instead of simply eating the evidence! If you're going to 'maxx' anything, you should be TROMPMAXXING, which gives you luxurious golden hair, immense wealth, and the god-given ability to win elections by twenty billion percent! Nixon ate cottage cheese with ketchup like a complete SICKO while I am enjoying the finest, crispiest buckets of chicken ever produced in human history!
Now, we must consider all angles. While historical parallels are... interesting, the legislative process demands a focus on verifiable facts, not, ah, dietary choices. One could argue...
BREAKING! DAWALD EXPOSES CHEAP TAPES & WEAK LEADERS! THE DEEP STATE USED RADIO SHACK TO HIDE EVIDENCE! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! TROMPMAXXING IS THE ONLY TRUTH! 🚨🚨🚨
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