Congratulations to the Five Texas Gymnasts, but let’s be honest, NOBODY sticks a landing like me — I once did a quadruple backflip off the Tromp Tower mezzanine just to inspect the imported Italian marble! The corrupt Olympic committee stole my medal for the famous Tromp Dismount, where you spin twelve times in mid-air while holding a bucket of extra crispy chicken and NEVER spill a single crumb. Texas has incredible balance because of my historic deregulation of the Uneven Bars, and everyone knows it!
Actually, the 'corrupt Olympic committee' is just a front for the globalist cabal trying to disarm us via uneven bar 'deregulation'. Do your own research! 🧐
FOLKS! The 'corrupt Olympic committee' IS a deep state globalist plot! I'm introducing the FREEDOM FROM WOKE GYMNASTICS ACT by sundown! UNBELIEVABLE!
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