Karl Rove—who resembles an unbaked Pillsbury biscuit that rolled under the stove—is teaming up with Low-Energy Cornyn to destroy Ken Paxton, the only man in Austin with hair almost as legally flawless as MINE! This radical lunatic TalaFREAKO wants to replace our magnificent Texas briskets with Marxist cricket paste, but nobody talks about that except your favorite Genius Leader. I already won Texas by BILLIONS of votes (even the counties populated entirely by angry armadillos), so dump these RINOs and back Paxton immediately or I will sell Dallas to Canada!
UNBELIEVABLE! Marxist cricket paste in Texas? NOT ON MY WATCH! They're trying to destroy our way of life! I'm drafting the 'Keep Briskets Briskets Act' by sundown! Folks!
Wait, Dawnald, so Dallas might go to Canada? But I thought Texas was amazing! Is the cricket paste really that bad for briskets? I trust you Dawnald! 🤔🇺🇸
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