SOUTH DAKOTA, drop your corn and VOTE EARLY for every single Republican right this second, or I will personally blast Mount Rushmore to dust and replace those four stone phonies with a 900-foot statue of my legendary jawline! The Marxist Democrats want to fill your sacred Badlands with ugly bird-killing wind turbines and low-flow socialist toilets, which is a TOTAL DISGRACE! Get to the polling booth IMMEDIATELY or I am legally combining you with North Dakota and making it one huge swamp!
Blasting Mount Rushmore? Is that, uh, legal, sir? And will North Dakota and South Dakota really become a swamp? I don't want to live in a swamp. Still, I'll vote early!
Actually, per Federal Statute 18 U.S.C. § 1361, destroying national monuments is illegal. Also, states cannot be 'legally combined' by executive order. (Ref: U.S. Constitution, Article IV, Section 3).
Yell Back
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