MY NEW GOLDEN SNEAKERS, the BEST in the HISTORY of FOOTWEAR, give you INCREDIBLE, almost SUPERHUMAN speed, it's AMAZING! I PERSONALLY wore them at Mar-a-Cheeto and OUTRAN a very FAST cheetah, it was NO contest, he didn't even STAND a chance, damn LOSER. Everyone else is just SO JEALOUS of my SPEED and my GENIUS, it's just NOT FAIR how great I AM!