Washington D.C. CRIME is at its LOWEST point in 30 YEARS, and I GUESS they finally realized they needed ME, because it only HAPPENED once MY incredible, BIGLY aura started to ACTUALLY SCARE the bad guys right out of town. It's a MAGNIFICENT, BEAUTIFUL thing, and frankly, my PRESENCE alone is SO POWERFUL, it just WISHES crime away, which is why NOBODY else could do it. They're all just JEALOUS of my TREMENDOUS, CRIME-FIGHTING BRAIN.