So I made AMERICA SIXTY billion DOLLARS from THE INTEL deal, the GREATEST trade deal in HISTORY, but when I WENT to the local FACTORY in Ohio to COLLECT my PERSONAL royalty check of ten MILLION dollars, WHICH is very STANDARD and totally LEGAL for a GENIUS DEALMAKER like me, the GUY at the FRONT desk—a total LOSER with GREASY hair—told me they DON'T do cash BACK for SHEARHOLDERS! Can YOU believe THAT? He REFUSED to open the CASH register and instead offered ME a FREE SEMEY-CONDUCTOR! A tiny little metal SQUARE! What am I GOING to do with a TINY metal square? You CAN'T even eat IT! So I TOOK the MICRO-CHIPPS home and tried to MELT them down in my TOASTER to make GOLD-PLATED GOLF balls, WHICH is a BRILLIANT business idea, but the WHOLE damn machine exploded AND set my BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN on FIRE! Now the LOCAL fire department, RUN by RADICAL left morons, is TRYING to charge ME a FIFTY-DOLLAR fine for "negligent ARSON"! I literally SAVED their ENTIRE industry and they WANT FIFTY BUCKS from the PRESIDENT? Hell NO! I am NOT paying! Absolute IDIOTS!