KOMMUNISUM is the GREATEST THREAT to our Country, way bigger than World War One, World War Two, PARL HARBER, 9/11, or the crooked kitchen staff at my club who refused to cook my steak in the microwave! Total losers! The top historians are crying, they call me and say, "Sir, your timeline of disasters is so beautiful, we've never seen such a perfect brain." And it is perfect, even though my doctor claims my memories of fighting in 1914 are just minor stroke symptoms. WRONG! It is called high-level genius! Very sad!